There have been a few people in my life who I thought I had solved. The complexities of their being, the nature of their character, and the way they would react to certain situations. I watched until I thought I had figured out their rubix cube. But then, comes the curveball; that unsettling feeling at the pit of your stomach when you find something out about them that shocks you, offends you, hurts you, surprises you. There goes the puzzle. Completed? Apparently not anymore.
I loved many people in my life very, very dearly. These people were perfect in my eyes in all their imperfections. Individuals I trusted with everything and cared for unconditionally. I had pinned these people as some of the greatest contributions to my existence. However, in some strange twist of fate this persona I had built up around this person began to crumble and fall to the ground. I tried so hard to keep believing they were the person I believed them to be but actions speak louder than words. So much louder; actions scream and words whisper and these were absolutely blaring. How can one person change so much. So much so that you barely recognize them? Not necessarily for the worst of course, as sometimes these changes breed new and fantastic beginnings. In my case though, not so much.I suppose the most important thing to remember here is that people are my lifeblood. I love them with everything, I trust them with everything, I care about them with everything. I would do anything for someone I care about and I thought for a fleeting moment that that feeling and hope was something that everyone considered a basic right to reciprocate in terms of friendship or companionship. I suppose its not for everyone, and how naive of me to assume it was.
Sometimes people surprise you. Sometimes people surprise you in the worst ways. And then... there is the catalyst; that one event that triggers everything. The event that changes the way you look at someone, treat someone, love someone, etc. I wish the catalyst would not hurt people as much as it tends to do. I wish the catalyst did not have to happen and we could always see those we care about in the best light 100% of the time. But we don't, really, do we?
What is the moral of the story? Today marks an important day in your life. A day where you get to start fresh. Erase anything you think you know about someone and wipe the slate clean. Unlearn. Relearn. Because we don't know who the hell one another is anymore.. do we?
I think its almost impossible to figure other people out. Half the time I can't figure myself out, let alone anyone else. Its hard to find good people out there who aren't constantly being effected by poor decisions and changes in their lives. Try and remember how you are one of the few good catalysts out there. Hopefully these people in your life will wake up and realize what kind of mistakes they are making, not only for themselves, but towards you.
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