My roommates are insane. I do not think I have ever laughed as hard as I have in the past few months. This is a copy of the collection of quotes located on our refrigerator of our funniest moments:
"Oh shoot! We're living on a beach?" - Ryan
"No, no. I would have a relationship with Carrie Underwood, I would just bang that blonde chick from the Pussycat Dolls" - Lynsay
"Tila! Oh my God" - Tila Tequila
"Oh mg" - Phil
"Uh Yeah, give me what I need" - Tila Tequila
"OH MY GOD, WE ARE DYING! WE ARE DYING RIGHT NOW!" - Ryan
"My dream is to watch people have sex. Not the actual sex, I just wanna see the moments leading up to it and I want to see if they would do it in front of me" - Lynsay
"Lynsay! There are people puking in our garbage cans and our kitchen sink!" - Ryan
"Tongue freaks me out. Every tongue texture is different, it's like a banana and banana's creep me out" - Lynsay
"Dear Jon Templin, can I rub your abs?" - Nicole
" I would totally do anal, if it meant having sex with him!" - Kriselle
"Put your friggin' seat belt on! We are in the car with an Asian!" - Ryan
"Take a doubt shot" - the ikki twins
"Oh my god! I just punched myself so hard in the face!" - Ryan
"Oh my god guys! I am so much fun! Like, you should really thank my parents for all this because if they hadn't gotten together and had sex I would not be here and you all would not be having this much fun!" - Jessica
"I don't care. I just need someone to make out with when I am drunk" - Nicole
"Whenever Pussycat Dolls 'Buttons' video comes on I become a lesbian for 4 minutes" - Lynsay
"Sorry! That's for Phil" - Nicole
"If Lady Gaga comes on tonight I'm going to be the biggest whore" - Lynsay
"I don't know how I feel about that" - ALL
" FFFFFFFFFFFFF- ighting evil by moonlight" - Jess
"No one uses the weiner slot" - SNL
"I'm not effing angry!!" - Ryan (Ryan during his special time of month)
"Why's his foot up there?" - Lynsay
"If you ever hurt me, I'll fucking kill you" - Ryan
"How in the hell do you tell someone they are a horrible kisser? What I really wanna say is, get your effing tongue out of my mouth and freakin' give it to me. I would rather my face be sucked then to be gagged by tongue" - Lynsay
"I wish it was my birthday!" - Nicole (in reference to the song birthday sex)
"So Lyns, should I get a blowjob, an orgasm or an asian pussy?" - Ryan
"You have to leave at a 0.. just because" - Jess
"PHIL! You just spilled pussy all over me!" - Ryan
Moments that do not need quotes:
- being sent pictures of some guys penis at Kriselle's
- the way in which Kriselle hold a guy head when she kisses him
- the way Kriselle keeps her eyes open and looks at her friends while kissing people
- Lynsay fainting in Kriselle's bedroom
- Lynsay puking in her sailor moon costume for 12 straight hours
- Ryan knowing every dance to all Pussycat Dolls, Lady Gaga, and Beyonce music videos
- Jessica and Bad Romance
- Ryan communicating with a vomiting Lynsay through her vent
- Kriselle making a vegetarian eat chicken
- Lynsay debt card signature permanently stuck on her boob after a long night of sweaty dancing in the Turret
- Ryan drinking a beer by himself in his room on a Monday morning
- Nicole and Phil
- Kriselle and Jason
- Jess and Jon
- Nicole's frequent screams
- Ryan breaking Jess' mirror from coming out of the closet
- Ryan and Chandler cuddling in bed together
You guys are awesome! I only hope that the list on our fridge will continue to expand.
I am laughing so much. This is fabulous.
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