2010-03-16

Happiness feels a lot like sorrow.
Let it be, you can't make it come or go,
But you are gone- not for good but for now
Gone for now feels a lot like gone for good.

2010-03-06

It’s not that I don’t feel I deserve it, cause God knows I do.

What makes life unusual is no one gets everything they want. But that’s the whole point isn't it? Everyone is always after something: the most money, the highest paying careers, freedom, sex, and most importantly, love. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with wanting things, it is what drives you, what makes you a better individual, and what makes life worth living.

So how am I suppose to finally feel complete, even though I am just a normal 19 year old girl?

For years I have be told this simple blatant lie:

“Having everything means nothing, if you don’t have someone to share it with.”

What they mean by this statement is that you can't have everything unless you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/partner/love interest. It implies nothing about family and friends who are, in fact, the most important people in anyone individuals' life. You CAN have everything and be all alone in that, because quite frankly, you are not alone; no one is ever alone. In every relationship we expect this other person to be our knight in shining armor and whisk us away from all the worries and the troubles of the world; we expect nothing short of perfection. The day we realize that this is NOT real life is the day we face the biggest let down of our life. People butt heads, they argue, they make mistakes, they are cruel, and they feel emotion.. Deal with it! So what's the moral of the story:

You can’t expect someone to complete you! Unrealistic expectations ruin relationships. I strongly believe this.

My grandma told me something (and wouldn’t you know…it’s actually true!) that when you come to find a successful relationship, no one, not even THE greatest human being in the world will ever make you 100% happy. That’s on YOU. Build a life that is perfect for YOU and the perfect person will be the one that comes along and wants to SHARE that "perfect" life you've created for yourself. She/he will not alter your world, she/he will just simply enhance the features of your so called perfect life.

So, put yourself first from time to time. You are the only one that can have an impact on your own well-being. Pick yourself up before others can tear you down.

2010-03-04

I have lost faith in humanity. What the hell is wrong with people? Obviously, there is nothing anyone can do to right the likes of humanity but it just feels as though every single person around me falling through the cracks of what humanity has become. I used to think I was surrounded by great people and that all that negativity was nowhere in sight. The truth is, it is everywhere. It's disappointing. Do any of these ring a bell: Common courtesy? If you don't have anything nice to say, do not say anything at all? Treat others the way you want to be treated? The act of being selfless? General acts of kindness? I am sure these ideas, terms, and universal rules were familiar to everyone at one point or another.. but unfortunately, not anymore.

"Don't be yourself, be someone a little nicer".

2010-01-20

I am under a spell of constant disappointment.

This just has not been feeling as it should.

What is wrong with me? Seriously!